My new therapist is sitting on the edge of my desk, legs crossed, head slightly bowed, with his beady eyes peering at me through his black framed glasses as he holds a pen poised over his clipboard.
He’s three inches tall, made of molded plastic, and looks like a cross between Freud and Dr. Leo Marvin from the movie, “What About Bob?”
The therapist was a gift from one of our girls who thinks I’m stressed. Why wouldn’t I be stressed? We need a new garage door, and for someone to install a new garage door, the garage floor must be cleared.
It’s probably been 11 years since we had both cars in the two-car garage. The truth is I am a minimalist married to a collector. We are living proof opposites attract.
Half of the garage is filled with big plastic storage tubs holding old scrapbooks, family records and journals, old family photographs, sports collectibles and random memorabilia.
When I push a button on Dr. Marvin’s chair, he asks thoughtful counselor-like questions. “What was your childhood like?”
“Organized. A place for everything and everything in its place.”
I like this. It’s good to hear my thoughts out loud. Then he says so, “Tell me about your mother.”
“Don’t bring my mother into this!”
The husband’s defense is that he only saves things he finds interesting. The trouble is, he finds everything interesting.
If we were to take this tug-of-war family wide, every single grandkid would side with Grandpa. He brings home vintage board games, cool ride toys, scooters, butterfly nets, play money, hula hoops and any kind of ball you can kick, throw or hit with a bat.
Moments ago, I spotted four large water blasters added to his collection. I guess that is two apiece if we decide to settle this in backyard at 20 paces.
Dr. Marvin is intuitive. His next question is: “What do you think would make that better?”
Me: “A dumpster.”
Then Dr. Marvin says, “Let’s bring him back in the room.”
No, let’s not until he has a few more storage tubs cleared out.
Dr. Marvin: “And what kind of changes would you like to make in your life?”
Me: “Aside from erasing some deep lines in my forehead and the dark circles under my eyes, I really can’t complain. Life is good.”
Dr. Marvin: “That’s all the time we have for today.”
“Same here, doc, I gotta get back out to the garage and supervise.”