Bachelor break-up – lights, camera, reality!
Lori Borgman | Monday, July 12, 2010
The husband and I were watching a
Reds and Mets ball game, flipping channels at commercials, and found ourselves
pulled into the “first ever sit-down interview” since last season’s Bachelor and
his fiancé broke up in the tabloids.
Watching
Jake and Vienna, the bachelor and his intended, was like watching a melee break
out on the ball field. And in this case, the verbal sparring may have been among
the most instructional half hour on television.
As the two
whined and complained, it was clear that the true reality of the reality shows
isn’t as dreamy as the scripted side that comes with stage directions, wardrobe
and hair gel. The segment also showed that two selfish people who want what they
want do not make good partners, and that narcissists who love a camera as much
as they love themselves are never as attractive as they think.
She
complained that all he did was pucker up when he kissed her.
Listen honey, when you’ve been married 30 years, you’ll take it.
He griped that she wasn’t the person she seemed to be when they were dating.
Give me a break, Bubba. Every romance contains false advertising.
Yet, at the same time, they inadvertently illustrated two critical truths:
Men despise being belittled, interrupted and micromanaged. Women loathe trying
to communicate with clams, being yelled at and ignored.
Fantasy
relationships are bound to end badly because they start badly. Nobody gets an
accurate picture of a potential partner by luxury dates on tropical islands,
wandering through castles where wine and cheese magically appear and a hair and
make-up crew darts out of the bushes every five minutes to do a touch-up.
If
producers of dating shows want to perform a public service (and they don’t) they
could inject a true dose of reality. For starters, they could hide all the
women’s makeup. Maybe even cut the power to the resort where the women are
staying and turn off water, too. See if the bachelor is smitten now when the
ladies waltz down a long staircase.
Send
couples on budget dates restricted to fast food restaurants. “Hey baby, want a
bite of this full-pounder bacon cheese burger dripping down my arm?”
“Oh here, let me feed you this alluring taco chip smothered in plastic
cheese.”
Forget the
limos and horse-drawn carriages, have couples take the subway. See if they still
have that soft-focus dewy glow under the ugly glare of green fluorescents.
See if he gives her his seat or has any regard for old ladies and pregnant
women.
Scrap
sailing, try bowling.
Anyone can fall in love in a castle with candlelight, an ocean view and wine
stewards. The real test is if you can fall in love in the cheap lawn seating at
a minor league ballgame, dripping perspiration, hair frizzing from the humidity
and eating ham sandwiches out of a plastic cooler.
If you can handle that without whining, maybe you’re ready for reality.
