Switching doctors and channeling health care
Lori Borgman | Monday, June 28, 2010
Having realized the key to getting an appointment with my doctor is to
pre-plan my illnesses and injuries six weeks in advance, I have switched
doctors. I now doctor with Dr. Nancy Snyderman on the NBC Today Show.
She keeps morning hours and, best of all, I don’t have to go to her -- she
comes to me. Of course, that’s providing I remember to turn on the television.
You’re wondering what if the problems Dr. Snyderman is talking about aren’t
the problems I have, right? Originally, I thought that might be a problem, too,
but having been blessed with a vivid imagination I usually begin experiencing at
least one or two symptoms of the topic she is discussing by the time her segment
is finished.
I don’t mean to brag, but my television doctor, Dr. Snyderman, is very
knowledgeable about a lot of things -- heart disease, diabetes, high blood
pressure, menopause, stress, sex problems, obesity.
She falls just short of the doctors on the cable news shows who can tell you
what a high profile person is thinking, what motivates them and what drives
them, even though they have never once been in the same room with that person.
Those doctors are obviously clairvoyant. Dr. Snyderman is good, but she is not
clairvoyant.
Last week I informed the youngest that my doctor says there is no such thing
as a base-line tan. “My doctor says any tan is a sign that skin has been
sun-damaged,” I said. The kid hangs out at her apartment complex pool a lot, so
I thought I should throw a little fear into her.
“Are you quoting your doctor from the Today show?” she asks.
“Who else?” I ask. “You have a better one?”
“Yes,” she snips. “The Doctors.”
“Isn’t that the one with a bunch of doctors sitting around a table? I should
have known you’d go for that talk-show format. Just because it’s a group of
doctors doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get better care.”
“Maybe not, but I get better reception. Remember, I don’t have cable.”
“All right, but have you considered Dr. Oz? He’s older and more experienced.
He has a lovely bedside manner and can also conduct a large group intervention
with the help of a sympathetic studio audience.”
“Are you serious?” she says, tipping her sunglasses. “Have you not seen Dr.
Travis Stork on the Doctors?”
“I haven’t seen him, but I have seen a promo or two. Is he the young good
looking one in scrubs?”
“Exactly,” she says. “And he’s also tan. Tell that to your Today Show doctor.
You should think about switching. The Doctors also have a plastic surgeon in the
roundtable.”
“I’ll ignore that,” I said.
“Fine, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a consult.”
“What do you think I am?” I ask. “Some willy nilly doctor shopper? Besides, I
never have the television on after 9 a.m.”
