When kids leave, so do the movies
Lori Borgman | Monday, January 26, 2009
Your last one leaves home. You tell her to take
anything she thinks she might need to set up an apartment, and two
days later you discover nearly all the DVDs are gone.
I was thinking she would take things along the
lines of laundry detergent and cleaning supplies. Maybe a box of
crackers and jar of peanut butter. What do I know? I’m not 23.
I was even thinking she might take the old silverware
we used when we used to go camping or an extra sheet set – your
survival basics. Instead, she boxes up DVDs.
I’m not saying she bears sole responsibility for
our dwindling inventory. When her older brother left, he cleaned
out all the action flicks, nature shows, guided tours of hunting
deer and calling wild turkeys. It’s not like we popped in a disc
on squirrel calling every Friday night. When he took his haul, we
welcomed the extra storage space.
The next one to leave made a heist in romantic
comedies. That was OK, too. Even Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts
get old after a time. How many times do you want to watch the “Runaway
Bride” run?
The kids claim they took the DVDs because they
were the ones who bought them. Maybe so, but we were the ones who
housed the DVDs, ejected them from the DVD player and lovingly put
them back in their covers at night.
In any case, our DVD supply is what you’d call
slim pickins. They did leave a few. We still have “10-minute Pilate
Solutions” and “Tae-Bo: the Basic Workout with Billy Blanks.” Such
thoughtful children, to consider their parents’ health.
They also left us with a good supply of aging
VHS tapes. Thank goodness we still have “Heidi,” “Freaky Friday,”
“Parent Trap,” “Beauty and the Beast” and “Aladdin.” It’s the Grade
School Collection.
“Honey, what would you like to watch tonight?
Lindsay Lohan when she was 12 years old or Shirley Temple winding
her way through the Swiss Alps?
“No? How about a little Disney? Maybe “Beauty
and the Beast?” You know, Angela Lansbury was the voice of the teapot.
“What do you mean you don’t want to watch cartoon
figures that sing?”
The husband is not taking the home entertainment
loss well.
“How about ‘Fat Burning Blast with Denise Austin’?
It’s like dancing; we could pretend we’re out on the town.” The
husband prefers to remain on the couch a lot of evenings.
They did leave behind the video “Perennials and
Annuals: Blooming in Zone 5.” We could watch that one on the couch,
but I don’t think it was ever one of our more popular movies. It’s
still in the cellophane.
They also left “Anne of Green Gables.” Two tapes;
a full six hours. They probably thought we’d watch the entire thing
in a single sitting.
Good news. The husband was rustling through the
remains in the cabinet, and found one they missed -- we have “The
Matrix.”
I’m locking the doors.
