I don’t need sorry, I need solutions

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Lori Borgman | June 27, 2016

Can we stop saying we’re sorry?

I’ve been on the phone trying to straighten out some billing matters and every customer service rep I talk to is sorry. Sorry is epidemic.

“How may I help you today?”

“We’ve had a continuing problem with our bill.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I used to be sorry, too, but now that our bill has been $45 in your favor for three months, and an additional unauthorized $13 charge is appearing, I’m past sorry.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You’re the fourth person I’ve talked to about this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I talked to a woman named Melanie yesterday. She was sorry, too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? Do you know Melanie? Should I have refused to talk to her?”

“No, I don’t know Melanie, but I’m sorry you had to talk to her.”

“It sounds like you have something against Melanie.”

“No, I don’t. Sorry for the confusion.”

“Could you quit saying you’re sorry?”

“Sorry.”

“I bet you’re going to tell me something different from all the other people I talked to, aren’t you? I get a different answer every time I call.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Here’s the thing, I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to competent. I want you to be sharp, resourceful, imaginative, smart and discerning,” I say.

“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“Look, Mark, is it? Why don’t we do this? For every time you say sorry, you credit my bill $10.”

“I can’t do that ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“Could you agree not to say sorry one more time?”

“Yes, I’ll try.”

“That’s great. Listen, I’m not holding you responsible for this mess, any more than I am holding you responsible for the mess with the Jews and the Palestinians.”

“Thank you very much.”

“I know you didn’t write this convoluted bill, you just happened to pick up the phone today, but I don’t need you to be sorry—I need you to fix it!”

After 15 minutes, including several stints on hold, he did fix it. I thanked him for being of genuine assistance.

“If that’s all ma’am, I know you asked me not to say I was sorry again, but I would like to say—“

Click.